Reflections on Transition – Part 3

8 Jan

Hi again.  Still working out the details of this year’s intentional growth.  Feels awful to know a week of 2017 has passed.  Yet, due to circumstances beyond my control — it happens.  Speaking of things outside of our individual control, when you live a life with certain dis-eases, the option below may be the one for you to consider when making an intentional growth plan.

OPTION TWO:  In this method, how to of intentions relating to setting goals or resolutions, allows for a person to setup goals or resolutions ONLY for those areas or items which you personally can control. The attraction to this is for life which is lived in the moment, and allows for grace and distractions, and messiness, and allowance for chronic illness, and/or family challenges, job challenges, financial limitations, etc.

IDEA of GRACE:   Never setup a resolution of any item, person, place, or thing out of your control.  This option emphasizes the need for knowing our own limitations, setting up safe and knowledgable boundaries and recognizes examples both within business, and outside of business, where what we achieve can be critically curtailed or inhibited by some one else’s actions or perhaps even by our own body in our current chapter of life.

Consider these out-of-control areas as “off-limits”.  I found that in 2016 in spite of my best efforts for the first half of the year, I had to  change my plan mid-year.  Why?  A severe bout of shingles in my ear that took a 5 month chunk out of my life.  It was a painful and painfully long experience.  But oh, I learned so much.  The first of which was to stay flexible, and not to hate a body that early on I felt had betrayed me.  Not it’s owner, just me.   This valley of despair lead to a new dependency on God for each and every moment.  It also lead me to the realization that Option two is sometimes the only way to go if one wants to remain focused on growth in the midst of trials.

How:  Life will frustrate you.  Guaranteed.  People will frustrate you at times.  Since one can never control another person’s decisions it will likely frustrate the object(s) of your resolution or goals to face this reality as well.  However, you can setup resolutions or goals, or plans toward forward growth — regarding how you will “respond” to choices. I have used this in past years with some success.  In 2016 I used this to set boundaries on my own expectations as my body needed considerably more rest to recover and heal than I had allowed for in the initial stages of the virus flare-up.

One example, I cannot control another person yelling at me, nor can I control their road-rage.  I can however, set up an intention for the year in which I determine to not respond with my own road-rage.  Including thwarting the temptation to return any physical hand-symbols.

I will not make adaptive speed changes to pour fuel into their rage.  I can make my resolution instead to respond by pulling over to calm down, or moving back in the traffic pack and visualizing their car as a balloon blowing out of my air-space.  I get lower blood pressure, and the recipient of my resolution goes on as if nothing happened.

Why? Because I chose to not react but to respond – simply because I cannot control their behavior.  Make sense?  As to consequences, I can choose whether or not to take down the license plate, make and model of the car and call in  a police report of road-rage.  Or not.

Here again, the idea is to simply setup some ideas and limits to undesired behavior which we can control.   Make a tangible effort to change one bad or limiting habit in this next period of your life.  You with thank yourself 12 months from now by taking one tiny step now.

Martha L Shaw - Poet, Writer, Artist

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